It's funny; how life goes on. You may feel at some point that you'll never get past the difficulty you're facing, but you do. Life goes on.
I was looking back on the past year or two; and felt overwhelmed with love. My dear friend who passed away this summer, Ms Babs, accompanied me on the piano at my graduation; I found her name next to mine in the program. I found a card my best friend had sent me; reminding me of all that we've shared together, and who we are in Christ. Just little things, but they play such big roles....and after reading, and remembering, I felt, as I said, so overwhelmed with love, for them and from them. And I realize that all this love would not be possible but for Christ-"We love, because He first loved us." More than words, my friends, more than words.
Sometimes I am so driven by 'one of these days', by the thought that 'someday I shall have my own house', and let myself get carried away, stressed out and just plain mean about things going on at home, mostly, that it's just not as clean, not as well furnished, and not as perfect as I'd like. Yes, some people don't clean up their own messes as they should always; and yes the sofa and armchairs are falling apart after nearly twenty years and seven+ kids; and yes, we can't open all the windows in the house on nice days like today because if we did they'd fall apart. But are all these things sufficient excuse for me to be short-tempered with almost every member in my family? I should say not. My parents have been replacing things on this old house for years now, they do what they can when they can. One of the pillars holding up the front porch was rotting away, it needed to be replaced, so we'll have to wait on the windows a bit longer. So what? The windows aren't going to collapse, hurt someone and cause damage to the house. They can wait. And I can be patient. "To every thing there is a season, and a perfect time under the sun."
I was so happy last fall; it wasn't difficult in the least to be loving, patient and interested in the doings of my family members. Love flowed through our house and poured out the cracks in our walls and our bad windows. It seemed the well springs of love dried up over the summer; but no more. I need to start spreading that love back around, making sure I'm getting it from the only True and Pure source; Jesus Christ.
And I've been just short of miserable this summer and fall; is it because I've been trying to haul up water from the dirty, slime-covered pond out back of our house? That water might be alright for the animals, but it's poison for the people I hold dear. It's time I stopped forcing it down their throats, and gave them the pure water of Christ.
It's time I stopped living for myself.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
October 10, 2007
I finished Crooked House today; that one will leave you tied in knots as to who did it. All the clues were there, if you would only see them, but it left me clueless till the very end.
I am now reading Ordeal By Innocence. These are all short stories, in one volume. So that's why I've been able to finish them quickly. :)
My brothers' last game is tomorrow; it's also an away. So we're packing up the family to watch their final game in another town.....I know, very sad. :) I'm sure it will be great though. Anyway, maybe I'll have something more interesting to post then, 'cause I sure don't now. And rather than bore you with trivial details to practically nothing, I'll "call it a post." :)
I am now reading Ordeal By Innocence. These are all short stories, in one volume. So that's why I've been able to finish them quickly. :)
My brothers' last game is tomorrow; it's also an away. So we're packing up the family to watch their final game in another town.....I know, very sad. :) I'm sure it will be great though. Anyway, maybe I'll have something more interesting to post then, 'cause I sure don't now. And rather than bore you with trivial details to practically nothing, I'll "call it a post." :)
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
October 9, 2007
I was sorely disappointed in the Seven Dials Mystery. I didn't have anything figured out; which doesn't bother me much, I like it when I can't figure the whole mystery out before the rest of the characters (I can usually figure out most murders and such long before the middle of the story); but she didn't just not give you necessary information, she gave you false information. Very misleading. And then of course, I'm just not happy with the way it turned out. :)
I'm starting Crooked House now; I certainly hope it's as good as the last-or should I say, better than the last. I did really enjoy Seven Dials right up until the last two chapters.
My lessons for today got moved to Thursday, so I'll have a mostly quiet day at home, for once. That will be so nice. I have some pork loin I'm planning on fixing up for supper; also some sweet potatoes that need to be used. I'll probably do a salad with it, and think up something fast and easy for dessert.
I also need to clean out the refrigerator, microwave and other various small appliances in the kitchen. Sometimes I wish those everyday things didn't have to be done, or would do themselves; but then I remember how it was when I was attending college, and I wished so much for the time to do those things. Ironic, isn't it? :)
Well, after writing the above earlier, my day changed drastically. I had just cut up the pork loin and started it to marinate, when my youngest brother came running up to the house, with the message for me to come help the other guys in the family with the cattle. Haha-dryly. That took out a couple of hours in my ''leisurely'' day. I came back up covered in dirt and manure, took a shower, and tried to continue supper preparations. But wouldn't you know it, my dad wants to go out and do our bible study now rather than around seven or eight this evening. This is certainly giving me a good opportunity to exercise patience and a good attitude. So I'm going to smile now, and do my best not to succumb to a ''desperaging'' attitude. :) On the plus side, the cattle have all been wormed and etc. for the next couple months, which means I won't have to be trying to do that on my own when the guys are gone. That's definitely a plus.
I'm starting Crooked House now; I certainly hope it's as good as the last-or should I say, better than the last. I did really enjoy Seven Dials right up until the last two chapters.
My lessons for today got moved to Thursday, so I'll have a mostly quiet day at home, for once. That will be so nice. I have some pork loin I'm planning on fixing up for supper; also some sweet potatoes that need to be used. I'll probably do a salad with it, and think up something fast and easy for dessert.
I also need to clean out the refrigerator, microwave and other various small appliances in the kitchen. Sometimes I wish those everyday things didn't have to be done, or would do themselves; but then I remember how it was when I was attending college, and I wished so much for the time to do those things. Ironic, isn't it? :)
Well, after writing the above earlier, my day changed drastically. I had just cut up the pork loin and started it to marinate, when my youngest brother came running up to the house, with the message for me to come help the other guys in the family with the cattle. Haha-dryly. That took out a couple of hours in my ''leisurely'' day. I came back up covered in dirt and manure, took a shower, and tried to continue supper preparations. But wouldn't you know it, my dad wants to go out and do our bible study now rather than around seven or eight this evening. This is certainly giving me a good opportunity to exercise patience and a good attitude. So I'm going to smile now, and do my best not to succumb to a ''desperaging'' attitude. :) On the plus side, the cattle have all been wormed and etc. for the next couple months, which means I won't have to be trying to do that on my own when the guys are gone. That's definitely a plus.
Monday, October 8, 2007
October 8, 2007
Yikes! I can't believe I haven't posted for-let me count-four days! :) Major neglect there....
So, we celebrated my dad's birthday Friday. My brother and his wife came out, and I think my dad enjoyed it. I had a pretty tough time shopping for him, but finally came up with something....
I am reading Agatha Christi's Seven Dials Mystery, so far so good. I just finished Frank Peretti's Monster-that one was kinda' weird, I'll have to think about it some....
And still on my Proverbs 31 study. We're doing verses 24-28; I found verse 25 so cool, for lack of a better word. :) "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future." There's a lot there, a lot to ponder. And ponder I shall.
I know had something substantial to post, but my feeble mind has already forgotten it, go figure. :) So I shall hope to remember it, and post later. For now, I shall end, and, of course, call it a post.
So, we celebrated my dad's birthday Friday. My brother and his wife came out, and I think my dad enjoyed it. I had a pretty tough time shopping for him, but finally came up with something....
I am reading Agatha Christi's Seven Dials Mystery, so far so good. I just finished Frank Peretti's Monster-that one was kinda' weird, I'll have to think about it some....
And still on my Proverbs 31 study. We're doing verses 24-28; I found verse 25 so cool, for lack of a better word. :) "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future." There's a lot there, a lot to ponder. And ponder I shall.
I know had something substantial to post, but my feeble mind has already forgotten it, go figure. :) So I shall hope to remember it, and post later. For now, I shall end, and, of course, call it a post.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
October 4, 2007
Well, there was no entry yesterday because Blogger wouldn't let me sign in...
We had volleyball practice again today-actually there was supposed to be a game with some girls from Tupelo, but they never showed up.
The guys also had a football game; but shortly before half-time, there was an electric malfunction, we lost all the lights, and the game had to be called off. Bummer. The plus side was that we weren't out till after nine. :)
My dad's birthday was yesterday; I think we are going to try to celebrate it tomorrow. I also need to get out and shop for him.
Well, I'm tired; and still need to jump in the shower, I'm pretty dirty from playing V-Ball for a couple hours in the heat today....And I need to wake up early tomorrow morning to make breakfast. So I'll call it a night. Or a post.
We had volleyball practice again today-actually there was supposed to be a game with some girls from Tupelo, but they never showed up.
The guys also had a football game; but shortly before half-time, there was an electric malfunction, we lost all the lights, and the game had to be called off. Bummer. The plus side was that we weren't out till after nine. :)
My dad's birthday was yesterday; I think we are going to try to celebrate it tomorrow. I also need to get out and shop for him.
Well, I'm tired; and still need to jump in the shower, I'm pretty dirty from playing V-Ball for a couple hours in the heat today....And I need to wake up early tomorrow morning to make breakfast. So I'll call it a night. Or a post.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
October 2, 2007
So, here it is, October. OK, so it started yesterday. But it is October. The weather is getting cooler, the leaves are turning to orange, yellow and red-or that's what is supposed to be happening...true, the temperature does go down in the evenings, but about nine the next day, it starts warming back up; and the leaves are NOT turning. They're still green. Mostly.
I met a friend from college today for coffee, it was a really neat time. I enjoyed it so much, and hope she did too. :) We were able to share some verses with each other, and found a mutual love for Jonathon and his relationship with David. :)
I was reading in my bible today, looking up some verses on depression. Yes, I deal with depression sometimes; not the suicidal kind; but the 'down in the dumps today' kind. These are some of the verses I found:
Psalm 42:11-"Why are thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God."
Isaiah 26:3-"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee; because he trusts in Thee."
And here's a quote from C.S. Lewis that I found; "Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done..."
Too often, I try to rely on myself. It never works, but I seem to forget that each time I try it again. So here I am, again, after yet another failed attempt at relying on myself; resolving yet again to trust and rely on Christ.
Along with trust and reliance on oneself comes depression, I find, every time. The Lord isn't able to keep me in perfect peace when my mind isn't stayed on Him; when I'm not trusting in Him. And when I'm not in "Perfect Peace", you can bet I'm in depression. About my family, friends, house, myself and my life.
But "I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God" and I will "Hope in God", and I will 'stay my mind on Him' and 'trust in Him'. I shall choose to rely on God ''every day as if nothing had yet been done''.
I met a friend from college today for coffee, it was a really neat time. I enjoyed it so much, and hope she did too. :) We were able to share some verses with each other, and found a mutual love for Jonathon and his relationship with David. :)
I was reading in my bible today, looking up some verses on depression. Yes, I deal with depression sometimes; not the suicidal kind; but the 'down in the dumps today' kind. These are some of the verses I found:
Psalm 42:11-"Why are thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God."
Isaiah 26:3-"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee; because he trusts in Thee."
And here's a quote from C.S. Lewis that I found; "Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done..."
Too often, I try to rely on myself. It never works, but I seem to forget that each time I try it again. So here I am, again, after yet another failed attempt at relying on myself; resolving yet again to trust and rely on Christ.
Along with trust and reliance on oneself comes depression, I find, every time. The Lord isn't able to keep me in perfect peace when my mind isn't stayed on Him; when I'm not trusting in Him. And when I'm not in "Perfect Peace", you can bet I'm in depression. About my family, friends, house, myself and my life.
But "I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God" and I will "Hope in God", and I will 'stay my mind on Him' and 'trust in Him'. I shall choose to rely on God ''every day as if nothing had yet been done''.
Monday, October 1, 2007
The Various Duties of My Week...
I thought I should probably update my blog....but so much has been happening, I don't know where to start, or even if I can; my brain feels scrambled. :)
I've been kitten-sitting for my brother and sister-in-law this past weekend, lots of fun in that.
My cello finally arrived this past Tuesday, but was in need of a few changes; so a friend is working on that for me.
Volleyball season is progressing.....actually fairly well, too.
I've been finding out how to do different things here on my blog...lots more fun! :)
My study of Proverbs 31 with my friend is coming close to the close. :) We have one more week, I think. Then it'll be on to something else, I guess. But it's been very interesting...I've enjoyed it immensely, my eyes have been opened to a few things I've never noticed before. I've been looking at some things that Nancy Leigh DeMoss has to say on the chapter, and that's been cool.
I'm sitting her in the campus Barnes & Noble with free wireless connection, waiting to be picked up by my mother and sisters.....I've been done with my downloads for quite a while now, it went a lot faster than it does at home. :) I just got off the phone with them, they said they're about ten minutes away, so I better close down. At least I can say I 'updated' my blog... :)
I've been kitten-sitting for my brother and sister-in-law this past weekend, lots of fun in that.
My cello finally arrived this past Tuesday, but was in need of a few changes; so a friend is working on that for me.
Volleyball season is progressing.....actually fairly well, too.
I've been finding out how to do different things here on my blog...lots more fun! :)
My study of Proverbs 31 with my friend is coming close to the close. :) We have one more week, I think. Then it'll be on to something else, I guess. But it's been very interesting...I've enjoyed it immensely, my eyes have been opened to a few things I've never noticed before. I've been looking at some things that Nancy Leigh DeMoss has to say on the chapter, and that's been cool.
I'm sitting her in the campus Barnes & Noble with free wireless connection, waiting to be picked up by my mother and sisters.....I've been done with my downloads for quite a while now, it went a lot faster than it does at home. :) I just got off the phone with them, they said they're about ten minutes away, so I better close down. At least I can say I 'updated' my blog... :)
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