Quietness.....

I can't get to sleep. I should, as I only had about four hours sleep in the last thirty-eight hours. Has it really been that long? This whole day ran together, melting into yesterday......This morning it was easy to get things done, it helped with the grief. I had other members in my family that couldn't cope this morning. So it was mainly me doing stuff. But by afternoon it was me that couldn't handle one more thing, and my sisters kicked back in. It has been such a blessing that my grandmother is here. She came for my sisters' graduation (which we are now postponing); she has helped remind me of the little things that need to be done. I would be content with just making sure meals were prepared and the house stayed relatively clean. But she's reminded me about sweeping the floors, and even that it should be about time to get another load of laundry in. Don't get me wrong, I'm not falling apart, but I guess I should say that she encouraged me to keep doing those everyday things that need to be done. And she actually took care of lunch today.
As I'm typing, I hear playing in the background MercyMe's The Love Of God. Such a beautiful song. And wonderful to be reminded of it, again and again......I don't know how the next couple weeks will play out, it will be hard; but one thing I do know, God is Evernear, Everloving, Comforting, Gracious and Compassionate, and He will guide us through this time.
Tomorrow, we will be celebrating Ms. Babs reunion with her King, and to be honest, I'm scared. I don't want to go through more possible pain. She played such a major role in my coming to know true worship; you could say she was the Lord's instrument in teaching me all that I know now. And it will be so hard without her. But I also know that the Lord will help me through it, and He may very well make it one of the most amazing experiences of my life.
I keep remembering all these wonderful times and experiences with her. I took vocal lesson's from her daughter (my self-adopted 'big sister'); and there'd be times when she was working away in the kitchen while I was having my lesson; I'd be singing something from My Fair Lady or Sound Of Music, and all of a sudden she would burst into song with me. Then she'd apologize, saying "I just couldn't help myself!" There was another time that she and Annie were going to New Orleans for a Hillsong tour, and graciously took me with them. We had a wonderful time, discussing worship, children, housekeeping, and the goodness of the Lord. I'll always remember those two days. I have to smile through my tears remembering, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I shall miss her so much, as will everyone in her family, our church body, community, and all those who came in contact with her. She was a woman who truly lived for the Lord, and for others.
I want to thank all those who have been praying for her these past five years, and for all the prayers lifted up for her family and those close to her left behind.

"Quietly, so quietly, I come before You, Lord. I see how much I need You, like I've never seen before......Strengthen, Lord, this pilgrim child. Sometimes my flesh is weak...But as I hush my hurried heart, I hear You tell me what to do. In repentance and rest is your healing, in quietness and trust is your strength."
Is. 30:15